Sunday, November 14, 2010

How to forget an old lover

 How can we forget the old flame?
To no longer be plagued by old friends? How to forget an old lover? Following these ideas hope you can help!
1, ideologically, for you to recognize him inappropriate, you will not have the results between the
delay will only increase each other's pain. Here are a few extramarital affairs are the psychological feelings, to help you understand the reality, cut off Qingsi.
stay home with his wife. the world's most painful thing, than love a man you can not have own unique circumstances, that is, she met the man will divorce. However, often days, as people would like 'll always be with you, even if you live happily ever after with the new love, a happy life, in your heart of hearts, will always drive according to the regret and guilt you work together, you have to use the honorific of his speech. to leave the place you used to go and stop his concern. If you temporarily forget that he is normal, you need time, but remember not to with his appointment or phone call. try to avoid you together, if possible, adjustable department or find another job. distance and time can dilute the feelings between each other.
3, do not make excuses for myself
lies in the complexity of emotions and sometimes difficult to grasp our own love hate burst while. token, all understand the conflicts of interest, that is, unable to control their feelings. or even, often find excuses for their behavior, self-deception. Remember Do not take on special occasions such as birthdays, Valentine's Day and so on, give yourself the excuse that the resurgence of extra-marital affairs, which come to naught.
4, cleaning and other related items
see things thinking love is only human. a pieces of the little things that can cause your memories, longing for happiness. In short, every item he can affect your heart, raise your thoughts to him. Therefore, it is best to take him and forget He related some of the items destroyed or covered up.
5, to mobilize our own psychological defense mechanism, balance your mind
psychological defense mechanism is that when a person or difficulties in the psychological setbacks, he uses many way to deal with the adaptation, such as: taking actions to deal with the problem directly, or to escape a negative way to deal with such childish.
psychological defense mechanism almost everyone used unknowingly, it is in the subconscious carried out, but we did not realize. in our living environment, the always everywhere a lot of frustration and difficulty, if not direct action to deal with Yingfu to need to rely on psychological mechanisms and measures to adapt, it is a kinds of normal and healthy psychological phenomenon.
Here are some common psychological defense mechanism, you can select your own different circumstances.
repression:
This is the most basic of mature psychological defense mechanism When a person's desire or instinctive impulse can not be achieved due to meet or performance, consciously or subconsciously have to suppress, control, think of ways to meet the needs of its delay. For example: the way men see such a beautiful girl.
We ordinary people been able to maintain normal relationships, social order, are relying on the role of each person's depression to control our behavior, the more mature,UGG shoes, self-cultivation, the greater use of suppression role. You should give full play to the strength of repression.
but if you live to suppress their emotions, not to think of him, and may not be easy. You can control your behavior to start, not with his appointment or call.
sublimation:
Sometimes, the original impulse or desire of people, such as direct shown to be subject to punishment or adverse reactions, which can not be directly shown to be a face-lift, the original impulse or desire oriented in the direction relatively high. has creative, constructive and conducive to social and himself, called, opened on the role. such as: people in the face of setbacks, the pressure change in power, hard work and learning. you can change the psychological suffering of the driving force for the upward , so that their desire to comply with ethical norms of society in the context of reality. the joy of success will relieve the pain of losing a lover.
rationalization of the role:
general, for each occurrence of the phenomenon or event can be in many ways and reasons to explain. if for their own psychological needs, choose from among the many reasons some of them out of their inner needs reason, to emphasize the expense of other reasons to avoid mental distress are known as rationalization effect. such as: in the pursuit of a particular thing and not, in order to dilute their own restless,UGG boots clearance, for their failure to find a reason, often belittle each other. to comfort myself. This is the to the woman, said this woman is not good. looks plain woman beautiful woman said, pursue what they really need. But then you can use the His family gathered in the scene. so you will increase the centrifugal force with him to help you pull out from the emotional to the whirlpool.
consumption function:
When people experience psychological stress or frustration, the desire is not met, They tend to eat too much, impulse shopping, alcoholism, etc., to satisfy their desires. When you're ready to leave the lover, the feeling of inferiority and failure will continue to emerge, so that you pain. At this point, you may wish to cool a little , to spend money to buy some clothes or to do some fitness, beauty activities. It can help you to restore self-confidence should be.
6, take part in some outdoor activities and social activities
social contacts to help you out of the current predicament . the beautiful outdoor scenery can make you feel happy mood. know some new friends help you move your attention.
7, do you really care about things of interest or an affair with
sweet and warm you are not able to contend with everything, and it is the only contest is for the things you're interested. engaged in the work you love will bring you great joy, to compensate you because extra-marital affairs and lose the joy of the termination.
8, change your self-confidence which will affect the behavior and appearance
termination of an extramarital affair can make you feel unhappy, low self-esteem, and depression. lost confidence in the future. then you can Beauty or make some modification and some of your good work to do so as soon as possible to help you restore confidence, to find self-worth.
9, learn to express their feelings
If you are an introvert or a strong-willed, not would like to express their feelings easily,bailey UGG boots, you need to learn. Do not Jiangyi grief, to speak it or write it, this could make your pain be vented to some extent, so that you feel comfortable.
learn to forget , is not very easy to do, because many forget the sorrow, shame is unforgettable. Well, we need to treat the problem with a sense of balance. Since the place was destined irreparable. When you work for miss the sun, tears, you also miss the stars. when you're down, sad, the best learn to forget, do not care about the foot of the road, in front of the scenery more attractive. no matter how hurt in the past, I feel better not deliberately to go forgotten, deliberately to forget, will remember the deeper, so that everything tends to dull, do do, do not let yourself be alone trying to come up often, over time, will slowly forget ~ because time is thief, it will steal your memory uninterrupted, and the like, including your heart, if we want to forget a person, perhaps this man is loved, or have you had the unpleasant things, because it is what you want thing or things, the best way for them to learn, work, hard investment to accelerate the pace of life, so you have no energy and time to think about those who should not be thought of. often we do not want to lose a lot of their lost, had to face a time of loss,Bailey UGG boots, heartache again and again. often when we lose the time, always felt the whole world followed the destruction of whole life because of the loss is no longer meaningful. In fact, we who do not because of the loss and who live, life, not all dreams come true, not all have time to say the words, what must we do nothing, certainly some of what we have to give up after the fallen leaves, so Many times, we must learn to give up, even with the worth of last resort, desperation, even if you give up will not kill, but also had to give up the chase of the things you will never abandon those who had not belong to you, give up your like it already belongs to other people's things, because we wanted to change the outcome has no way to change will only hurt us once again injured. and deeper. If he / she no longer loves you, if everything has been unable to retain , then it may make their own free hand to let go when he / she has let go of your own. Perhaps one day you will find out that he did what a wise choice, only to leave him you will find those who had lost Happy to be back to the original in themselves, nothing can not be forgotten, and time will dilute everything. also no one is worth your tears of pain, because, really loves you he will not let you down. to give people who do not treasure you, are you? In this way, so that other people have the opportunity to love you, let you have the opportunity to love others. forgotten, will be very painful, but, as long as you enough to insist, as long as you love yourself enough, one day, come back to think about it, you will understand: this world, do you think can not forget can not forget, you can not lose that is not not afford to lose? 

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